“Summer breeze, makes me feel fine/blowing through the jasmine in my mind” crooned Seals & Croft in their 1970′s classic. Mens fashion trends 2014 Though, in unpacking the lyric “jasmine in my mind,” they most likely meant, “blowing up my skirt while I whine.”
Sure, I like a good summer
breeze as much as the next pair of thighs begging for a reprieve from the heat,
but fussily tugging at your skirt or dress gets old fast. I’m a huge
proponent of the more underwear-safe midi length and the cartwheel-proof skort,
butsometimes I’m in the mood for a short,
light-weight flimsy dress. And you know what? I don’t think it’s too much
to ask that I have my cake and not flash a stranger in the meantime.
After more than a few
unfortunate breezy subway incidents, however, I remembered the magic words:
Spandex Shorts.
Spandex shorts
will have your back and your ass all summer long. Here’s
why:
- You can sit on the subway
without panicking about that inevitable moment of peeling your sticky
buns off the bench when your stop approaches.
- You can sit on the subway
without panicking, in general.
- You can plop down in
the park without getting park on your ass. (Same goes for park benches.)
- You are halfway changed
for an impromptu workout.
- Your period will
stain your shorts before your dress.
And if you’re thinking, what
about static? Get some static guard. I’ve got you covered, and
so will your shorts.
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